


Why Lie

by MeaninglessWords



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/F, an AU that no one asked for, emily running again, really just a drabble of thoughts, she goes to london, sorry in advance for the angsty time, they met when they were fifteen but still ended up at the BAU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28283472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeaninglessWords/pseuds/MeaninglessWords
Summary: JJ has Will. Emily has London.It’s not the same but without each other they were destined to burn so brightly that eventually the fuel would run out. It was just a matter of who would run out first.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Kudos: 13





	Why Lie

Floating between reality and fiction is harder than it seems. The thin veil between the two worlds is almost sheer enough to see through, catching glimpses of what is or what could be. It hurts more to see than to do. Emily found that out the hard way. She met JJ.

_We met when we were fifteen. We didn’t know anything. Young and impressionable. You knew more about what life could do to you than anyone should. I was a sheltered brat with an attitude complex that hid the truth like a mask. It fitted well but there were cracks if you looked closely enough._

_I wanted to be invisible. I kept my head down and worked hard. You did the opposite. You found your footing in the midst of popularity and drama. It worked. That was you. Maybe that’s what drew us together. They do say opposites attract._

_I never thought we would be friends. It took us a while to warm up to each other. Competition got in the way. But you were always more worried about visuals and what people thought of you to notice the people around you._

_I was more worried about staying out of the way. Shrinking myself down to my doubts and flaws squeezing them into a box forcing them to fit into what I was supposed to be. What I was taught to be._

_It took a couple of years, but we became inseparable. Swapping stories and truths like no one’s business. Comfortable. Solid. I let you see the parts of me that I kept hidden from most. Vulnerability has never been easy for me. Somehow you ripped that band aid off and marched past the guards without so much as a blink. I let you. That was my first mistake._

_I read a book when I was younger that taught me a lesson. Mitch Albom wrote that book. It was called ‘The Five People You Met in Heaven’. Each person taught you a lesson. Good and bad. Hard truths delivered like bombs, destined to explode and make a mess before finally making sense. The bigger picture. Easy to talk about, harder to see._

_The kind where you don’t realise what you’re learning when it’s happening but when it’s over boy do you know what you’ve learnt._

_I like to think he was onto something and that’s all true. I also like to think that there’s five people you meet on earth too. For me, one of those five people, was you. At least I think you were. No. You were._

_The lesson you taught me; I haven’t quite figured out yet. Once I do, I’ll never make that mistake again. I can promise myself that now. I’ll never meet someone like you again._

_I had a gut feeling you’d cause me pain. Watching you from afar all those years working people to get what you wanted out of them should’ve been all the warning I needed. That was my second mistake._

_I’ve asked you before and I’d ask you again. But this time the words are stuck. Tearing at my seams to get out. But I just feel as stuck as those words are._

_Maybe I haven’t truly figured out who I am or where I stand. But I do know that my own two feet will be scarred for having known you, but I’ll be stronger because I let you go._

_Maybe I’m a coward. It’s really all I’ve ever known. Running. I’m good at it. I imagine if I ever grew the courage to have this conversation with you it would go something like this:_

_I’d ask you if you’d ever lie to me._

_You would probably say, ‘No, never.’_

_I would let those words hit me. Hit me hard. Stacking them up against what I found out. What I heard. What made everything make sense. I would hear what you said, I’d let the words settle, the sound vibrations passing through me until they no longer existed._

_And then I would reply with, ‘Then why did you?’_

Emily thought, ‘I’ve made mistakes sure, but do I have any regrets? Yes. But knowing you wasn’t one of them.’

Walking down the aisle to her seat, she knew London was waiting for her. Running again. But this time, no looking back.

\---------------

JJ has Will. Emily has London.

It’s not the same but without each other they were destined to burn so brightly that eventually the fuel would run out. It was just a matter of who would run out first.

**Author's Note:**

> Just another angsty drabble. If you've read this far thank you and I hope you liked it. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks to everyone who has read, liked or left a comment on any of my works previously!


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